5 Online Dating No-No’s

Here are 5 online dating no-nos (i.e. things you definitely want to avoid doing) during your online dating adventures.

People often forget that while you’re judging other people online and making your best guess as to their personality, etc before you’ve met them, they’re most likely doing the same about you especially if they’re run into problems in the past with other singles.

  • Having a profile photo that isn’t clear, wasn’t taken recently and essentially tries to hide what you really look like currently. Human nature is a funny thing. Some people lie about things that will inevitably bring them down at some point like age and what they look like. Which is so silly when you think about it because it’s as if to say the person you’re meeting will simply think “well they don’t look anything like their picture but it’s no big deal because I doubt they’re lying about anything else.” Think about it from your perspective: How do you feel when someone you meet turns out to be different than you thought and it’s clear they were deliberately trying to hide something from you?
  • Bothering other members: This is a big one especially if you happen to be cyber-stalking someone who decides to report you especially if they have had problems with this in the past and don’t wait around to hope you go away. Even if you didn’t mean anything bad, this is certainly not something that anyone – male or female – find attractive especially in this day and age.
  • Stringing people along: When I first started trying online dating, one of the things that really struck me is how people will change the way they think and act when using an online dating service. Suddenly it’s acceptable to “see” several people at the same time while stringing other people along on the side hoping that one of them works out. Typically most people wouldn’t engage in this sort of activity in more traditional dating environments but when it comes to online dating, the rules – whatever they are – seem to get thrown out the window. If you’re not interested in someone and it’s just not going to turn into something, it’s best to let them know early on. Conversely be on the lookout for people who seem to be stringing you along especially if you suddenly notice that they go from answering your emails within a few minutes or hours and suddenly you start getting responses a few days later. It’s possible they’ve moved on and are about to let you down.
  • Not trusting your gut: Use your gut, use your head, use whatever it is that gives you that sixth sense that something isn’t quite right. With online dating people start to believe that they’ve made a connection with someone when all they’ve seen is the person’s profile and photo and perhaps traded a few emails with them. You really don’t get to know someone until you, well, get to know them. Which means meeting them and really getting to know who they are. Until then, you need to have your radar on to ensure that you listen and observe everyone you meet to ensure you aren’t being led down the garden path.
  • Getting addicated: Like a drug addict, people can become addicted to online dating to the point where they’re logging in numerous times at work, responding to messages during work hours and even searching for singles all from their work computer. You don’t want to be obsessed about your online dating experience nor do you want to get yourself into trouble with your employer either. Don’t forget that there is a real world out there with real people and that your online dating “work” should be confined to non-work hours and limited to a reasonable level too.

Selecting a Dating Site Suited for You

Many said in the beginning that online dating was just a popular fad. Those who used the Internet for dating were at one time thought to be socially inept, pathetic losers or uber-geeks. Well with the popularity of online dating continuing to skyrocket, no one’s saying that anymore. For single people with busy lifestyles there’s no better way to meet someone than through Internet dating.

Proof that Internet dating has gone mainstream is the number of dating sites out there. There are thousands! One of the tricks to finding success on an online dating site is choosing the right sites on which to post. You don’t just want to post and every site you hear about or that has a catchy jingle.

The first thing to do is pick sites that are best suited to your dating goals. Are you looking for someone just to hang out with and have fun? Is your goal to find a person with whom to engage in a discreet relationship? Or are you searching for that special someone to fall in love with and eventually marry? Be honest with yourself about what you’d like to accomplish through online dating. You’ll save yourself some time and frustration as well as other people’s too.

Once you’ve determined your dating goal, then you can narrow your site selection by choosing those sites best suited to your personal profile. There are sites that specialize in particular ethnicities and even nationalities. Many sites are dedicated to very specific age groups, while others cater exclusively to single parents. There are dating sites devoted to those persons of a particular faith as well. It’s a well known fact that the most successful online relationships are those between persons with some key components in common. For example, if you are a single parent, then looking for love on a speed dating site might just be setting yourself up for failure.

If you’re serious about online dating then you also want to stay away from those sites that offer free services. Too many “hangers-on” populate these sites and they’re more in it for the novelty experience than they are looking for a true match. Tons of sites offer profile submissions at no cost and offer free searches for matching profiles, but they aren’t actually “free.” In order to communicate with a person who peaks your interest, you must subscribe to the site.

You’ll also want to choose a site that has a fair amount of positive reviews from people who have used the site. Look for dating site reviews on the Internet. Many sites publish lists that show the average customer satisfaction level of particular sites.

And finally, you should take note of the membership numbers and statistics on numbers of visits to a site. This type of data allows you to have an idea of how popular an online dating site might be. The more singles on sites that are searching for match, the greater pool of potential matches for you!