Here are 5 online dating no-nos (i.e. things you definitely want to avoid doing) during your online dating adventures.
People often forget that while you’re judging other people online and making your best guess as to their personality, etc before you’ve met them, they’re most likely doing the same about you especially if they’re run into problems in the past with other singles.
- Having a profile photo that isn’t clear, wasn’t taken recently and essentially tries to hide what you really look like currently. Human nature is a funny thing. Some people lie about things that will inevitably bring them down at some point like age and what they look like. Which is so silly when you think about it because it’s as if to say the person you’re meeting will simply think “well they don’t look anything like their picture but it’s no big deal because I doubt they’re lying about anything else.” Think about it from your perspective: How do you feel when someone you meet turns out to be different than you thought and it’s clear they were deliberately trying to hide something from you?
- Bothering other members: This is a big one especially if you happen to be cyber-stalking someone who decides to report you especially if they have had problems with this in the past and don’t wait around to hope you go away. Even if you didn’t mean anything bad, this is certainly not something that anyone – male or female – find attractive especially in this day and age.
- Stringing people along: When I first started trying online dating, one of the things that really struck me is how people will change the way they think and act when using an online dating service. Suddenly it’s acceptable to “see” several people at the same time while stringing other people along on the side hoping that one of them works out. Typically most people wouldn’t engage in this sort of activity in more traditional dating environments but when it comes to online dating, the rules – whatever they are – seem to get thrown out the window. If you’re not interested in someone and it’s just not going to turn into something, it’s best to let them know early on. Conversely be on the lookout for people who seem to be stringing you along especially if you suddenly notice that they go from answering your emails within a few minutes or hours and suddenly you start getting responses a few days later. It’s possible they’ve moved on and are about to let you down.
- Not trusting your gut: Use your gut, use your head, use whatever it is that gives you that sixth sense that something isn’t quite right. With online dating people start to believe that they’ve made a connection with someone when all they’ve seen is the person’s profile and photo and perhaps traded a few emails with them. You really don’t get to know someone until you, well, get to know them. Which means meeting them and really getting to know who they are. Until then, you need to have your radar on to ensure that you listen and observe everyone you meet to ensure you aren’t being led down the garden path.
- Getting addicated: Like a drug addict, people can become addicted to online dating to the point where they’re logging in numerous times at work, responding to messages during work hours and even searching for singles all from their work computer. You don’t want to be obsessed about your online dating experience nor do you want to get yourself into trouble with your employer either. Don’t forget that there is a real world out there with real people and that your online dating “work” should be confined to non-work hours and limited to a reasonable level too.